Postneonatal death: death after the first 28 days of life but before one year.
Perinatal death: death between 22 weeks gestation through 7 days after delivery
hmm, ok yes i am reaching, reaching for something to occupy my mind. Most of the time thoughts are just floating in and out of my head. Most of them aren't marked more important than another. It is just strange after living 37 years of your life one way and all of the sudden living a whole different way, in your head and heart that is. Society suggests you keep going through the daily schedule of reaching and stretching and reacting and jabbering. Jabbering about this and that, blah, blah, blah. That is what it sounds like to me.
I just have to be. I have to take a step at a time; if i step in gum then i look down, see the gum and scrape it off. If I step too slowly it is probably because I am daydreaming. If I step into the woods and look up at the trees and see, yes, they are majestic then that is noted. But I am not able to internalize the beauty of the trees, not anymore. Now I just see and speak and wake.
I sound weird, yes, but that is because I can't find another word to describe my life. It feels so different in my brain these days.
Perinatal death: death between 22 weeks gestation through 7 days after delivery
hmm, ok yes i am reaching, reaching for something to occupy my mind. Most of the time thoughts are just floating in and out of my head. Most of them aren't marked more important than another. It is just strange after living 37 years of your life one way and all of the sudden living a whole different way, in your head and heart that is. Society suggests you keep going through the daily schedule of reaching and stretching and reacting and jabbering. Jabbering about this and that, blah, blah, blah. That is what it sounds like to me.
I just have to be. I have to take a step at a time; if i step in gum then i look down, see the gum and scrape it off. If I step too slowly it is probably because I am daydreaming. If I step into the woods and look up at the trees and see, yes, they are majestic then that is noted. But I am not able to internalize the beauty of the trees, not anymore. Now I just see and speak and wake.
I sound weird, yes, but that is because I can't find another word to describe my life. It feels so different in my brain these days.
Hope you do not sound weird. Not at all. "society" ... now there's a group of (think they) know it alls that you should probably keep your distance from. Such a small fraction of society has ever experienced anything like what you have and certainly NONE of them have experienced exactly what you have. Your situation and your grieving are unique to you. It sounds like you are exactly where you need to be right now. Thank you for posting the pictures. I especially like the one where she is holding on to the wire. Inquisitive soul.
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