Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The emotions that come out of nowhere and bring me to my knees with tears and agony...really they do happen. I have a close friend who birthed her baby last night.  I only wish them health and happiness.  I am so jealous and unhappy.  She is holding; I am not.  She is nursing; I am not.  She has a living breathing baby; I do not.
Yep, enough crazy feelings to choke a horse.
And for the words that some folks share about being strong, building a new life, the babies gifted you such and such, there is a reason....at this point I am incapable of internalizing these messages.  I just think, yeah right, whatever (without feeling disrespectful to the speaker).

What to do now....

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